September 9, 2007

Remembering that great short story about the man contemplating the fly in the ink, I have a similar tale to tell about the spider in my sink this morning. If ever I see a spider in a sink or a tub, I often try to get him out because I remember that Rory Wagner would always put a towel in the tub to help the spider out. This time I was too busy and just said goodbye to the spider and washed him down the drain. A little while later I came back to the sink and seeing him looking pretty vanquished but back up in the sink, I just washed him down again and used a good bit of water making sure that he would be gone. I came back and there he was, like Charlotte, I thought. And so, recognizing that this was a spider of courage and determination I took a kleenex and gently moved him to the counter. May he live in peace.

Leonard Cohen, I'm Your Man, Genius

Anyone want to discuss Leonard Cohen or anything he has done including Leonard Cohen, I'm Your Man please call or email or write or come over and we will discuss. What a talented artist. He makes me grateful that I am in a place where I don't have to scavenge for food, clothing, warmth, water, that I can have the time to appreciate all of art and he is one of the best of art. Love and peace.

OLD IS A GIFT?????

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was
taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction,
she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an
interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.
Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always
wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the
wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken
aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my
mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving
family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become
more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own
friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my
bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks
so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be
extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they
understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4
AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if
I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love . I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging
body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite
the pitying glances from the jet set. ; They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as
well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not
break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when
somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give
us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is
pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray,
and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my
face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair
could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what
other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned
the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I
like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while
I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or
worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

(If I feel like it)

Anon.