Old Poem from My Past

Old poem from my past.

The passion is gone
But I'll still give you
A toothy smile
And a two-handed wave
From my car
Even half my coke
I'll dream about you on Wednesdays
And kiss you on Christmas
I'll never see anyone else
When you're in the room
I think it's as good an offer
As any of that
Hearts and flowers junk

A quote from R. Lafon about the State of the Union addresses

"First of all, I was about as proud of our president as I ever could be… I was very proud of the politeness, courtesy and civility shown by both parties throughout…."

<>"And then, the Democratic response: I was proud of myself for helping to raise funds for the Democratic Party this year -- that helped to elect a candidate like Jim Webb. I was extremely proud that, first of all they picked him, and second of all, that he really did bring us back to reality!!! What a great speech. Very effective! He did it with a minimum of rhetoric, but still managed to say, exactly what’s on the minds of most Americans -- those that even care – he used his quotes from Theodore Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower effectively… and did it “point-on”…. Excellent job! I thought it also good that he offered, gently, to tutor our President, and try to help him find the way…"

George W Bush 2007 State of the Union Drinking Game

George W. Bush 2007 State of the Union Drinking Game brought to you by Daryl Cagel Politicalcartoons.com Newsletter. lists@cagle.com
Raging Moderate, by Will Durst

What you need to play:

·Four taxpayers: One rich white guy wearing a suit. Cufflinks are nice. Two people wearing jeans, one in a blue work shirt, the other in a white shirt and one person wearing clothes rejected by the Salvation Army. Belt and shoelaces removed.

·One shot glass per person. Everybody brings their own from home and places it on table. Suit gets first pick for use during game. White shirt picks next, then Blue shirt. Suit takes last shot glass as well, and Rags has to beg a glass from other players when necessary or drink out of own cupped hands.

·20-buck ante for everybody except Suit who throws in a quarter.

·1 pot of Texas chili and 1 bowl of guacamole in middle of coffee table with tortilla chips nearby. Rags has to prepare and serve the chili and guacamole.

·A large stash of beer. Rags gets the cheapest stuff available. Suit gets whatever import he likes. Jeans get any domestic brand as long as it's no more expensive than Bud, but must pay for all the beer, the bourbon, the chips and the ingredients for the chili and guacamole.

Rules of the Game:

1. Whenever George W uses the phrases, "defending liberty," "enormous progress" or "challenges ahead," last person to knock wood has to drink 2 shots of beer. If he actually says, "There are those who envy our freedoms and seek to destroy us," everybody drinks a whole beer.

2. The first time George W mentions the tragic events of 9/11, the last person to eat one dollop of chili off a tortilla chip must drink three shots of beer. The second time George W mentions the tragic events of 9/11, the last person to eat one dollop of guacamole off a tortilla chip must drink three shots of beer. Continue to alternate. If you mis-chip, drink two extra shots of beer.

3. If George W mispronounces Iraqi President Al-Maliki's name, drink two shots of beer. If he even attempts to pronounce the name of Iranian President Mahmoud Amadinejad, first person to stop laughing is exempt from drinking three shots of beer.

4. If George W makes up a word like "9/11ers or "deterrencism," last person to yell out "Strategerie!" drinks two shots of beer.

5. Every time Senators Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama are shown in the audience, Suit drinks one shot of beer.

6. The first time George W talks about immigration, last person to finish three chips of guacamole has to drink threeshots of beer.

7. If either the vice President, secretary of state or first lady are caught napping, last person to make snoring noises drinks two shots of beer. If Senator Robert Byrd is shown awake, Blue and White drink two shots of beer.

8. Everybody drinks two shots of beer if President Bush mentions Scooter Libby. Three shots of beer if he mentions Jack Abramoff. Four shots of beer if he mentions Osama bin Laden.

9. Whenever George W quotes the Bible, last person to sing the first eight bars of "Amazing Grace" has to drink two shots of beer.

10. If George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns throwing chips of chili and guacamole at TV. First person to hit Bush's head exempt from drinking three shots of beer.

11. If George W tells a folksy Texas tale with a deeper meaning about not leaving before the job is done, Suit has to drink out of beer-filled hands of Rags, who gets to dry his hands on Suit's jacket.

12. Predict the number of applause breaks. After the speech, drink number of shots of beer equal to the difference between your estimate and the real number.

EXTRAS:

·Anybody who can identify person giving the Democratic response doesn't have to watch it.

·If George W uses a heartfelt story of one of our brave troops, white guy gets to kick everybody once. Twice if the brave troop is a woman. Rags gets to kick the suit if Bush reveals the subject of the anecdote is in the audience. Twice if the brave troop is sitting next to an astronaut.

·Suit takes home the $60.25.

·Leftover beer, chili and guacamole go home with Rags after he/ she is finished washing the dishes.

Political Comic Will Durst is going to try and sneak into the event disguised as an astronaut.

Copyright ©2007 Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate. Will Durst is a political comedian who has performed around the world. He is a familiar pundit on television and radio. See www.willdurst.com for additional information on Will's performance schedule and listen to his twice-weekly commentaries @audible.com/willdurst. E-mail Will at durst@caglecartoons.com.

Aerial View of Your House

Fred and Susan just told me about this cool feature of MapQuest, and I just used it to see an aerial view of our shack. You just go to www.mapquest.com and type in whatever address you want to see, click on maps, and then aerial view and you can zoom in as much as you want. Groooooooooooovy. I could even see the mountains we are among.

Home Remedies for Itching

This is Richard's suggestion, that I put all of the suggested remedies on the blog. So here they are for your use and enjoyment.

"They just talked about itchy, dry skin on the weather channel today. There were many obvious suggestions but the most important ones were…drink tons of water to rehydrate the skin; take short showers and pat, not rub yourself partly dry then use a moisturizer with an oil/water base; use a humidifier. If all home remedy fails, see a dermatologist!"

"Oatmeal bath :) you can buy in the store. I'm trying to remember the name....vinegar for poison oak/ivy or sunburn itches, but watch out it burns! then ahhh.. What is the itch from? If allergic reaction, benedryl".

"[Her husband] has had this problem for a while and I think it might be medication he's on, but check with her. Emu oil seemed to help him".

"I'm no expert, but I do know that skin rashes and itches are usually caused by something we eat or wear or take as medicine. If it's been going on a long while, it might be wise to look into fasting, followed by broth, fresh juice and then only the most basic food. But since the skin does dry out in winter, I'd also try Emu oil".

"I spent a lot of time out in the sun as a kid and have always had a problem with dry, itchy skin. I had that bout of “ringworm”, or what ever, and had to completely cover by body with that orange stuff that Dr. Speed prescribed for a couple of weeks. Sam Weller’s hands and arms became so bad, that the skin would actually crack and bleed. He used Bag Balm. Yes, Bag Balm, the stuff that you buy at the feed store and rub on cows udders… Whatever the remedy, drinking lots of water will help, and nothing will work instantly, as you know… Hydrocortisone cream or calamine lotion will still work the best… When poor Chucky swelled up so horribly with poison-ivy, you made a bath of some mixture that seemed to include dry milk flakes and oatmeal…. Oh, he was so swollen and miserable. I actually felt bad for him that time…"

"Don’t bathe every day and when you do, take warm—at best—showers. Lather with baby oil after, and I know you take your vitamin E supplements. For the first time in years, I’ve not had that itchy skin this winter. I’m on these Anti-aging supplements that fall under the umbrella term of “Natural Cellular Defense,” which the end of the year edition of Newsweek says is the way medicine is going. Research shows these supplements will take trace metals from your body, fight cancer (yes), arthritis, and kidney stones. The brand name is Waiora, and they have an online site. They are working to ease my arthritis in my hands and help me get off of hormones".

"Mom has lots of good remedies for just about everything, if she can just remember which ones work for what ....She said that LANACANE works for her..MAXIMUM STRENGTH. Hope this helps for whomever is in need of help for the itchies

The dermatologist recommended a cream called, Cetaphil. He got it either at Ingles or CVS. Also told him not to shower every day; not to use super hot water; rinse off after being in hot tub. Also, use detergents; fabric softener; and other stuff that touches your skin with NO fragrances".

"Oh, and if you use the orange juice and baby oil recipe, try to add some mint extract or fresh leaves, if available. Should do the job… Or, you can just try rubbing half a lemon or orange on your skin. It works too! Iodine, white vinegar and baby oil! Shake. Should be lightly pink… I would also add some Aloe Vera juice, if possible. Smells like hell, but does the job. You can also just use orange juice and baby oil. Shake and apply".

"There's a website called What Your Doctor Didn't Tell You that comes from the UK. The website is WDDTY.co.uk. What they do it ask for people's suggestions/experiences in dealing with difficult maladies. They send out a regular newsletter. The first thing that comes to my mind is a warm bath with 2 cups of Epsom Salts and 1 cup of apple cider vinegar. This was recommended to me to use after body work treatments to remove the toxins that get stirred up; it couldn't hurt".

"Good finger nails and a sturdy door jamb".

"Have you considered the fact that you may be allergic to your partner? Short of getting rid of him (her) try taking a warm, not hot, bath with starch in it and soak for awhile"
.

"[My husband] has recently been to the Hot Springs clinic for "winter itch" - "Eucerin" lotion was recommended, and CVS has a generic variety much cheaper. Also helpful has been "EMU" oil (yep, from the fat of the bird). Lady would be able to tell you where in Asheville to buy it - it's rendered by a friend's daughter in the Leicester area".

"MY CURE-ALL FOR EVERYTHING FROM LEG CRAMPS TO FUNGUS TO HAIR RINSE TO WINDOW WASH, ETC., ETC, IS VINEGAR. JUST THE PLAIN OLD CHEAP WHITE STUFF. ALSO A BATH IN BAKING SODA IS GOOD. AND IF IT IS SMALL PATCHES TRY THE INSIDE OF A BANANA PEEL".

Back to Blogging

Now then back to blogging. Instead of pages I can write my thoughts here to keep you all informed (all usually means one reader, I know that, It's just the idea of it that interests me) about the state of the old lady who is surprised every day by the blessings amassed and the aging mechanism in play. For instance, going to the New Year's party for the Scottish Country Dancers, great fun and tradition and much too much great food, taught me that I haven't hopped, yes hopped, in years and what a surprise to find that I have more weight to carry up on that hop than I can quite manage. Oh dear.

Well, being aware is the first part of learning isn't it? And now that I'm aware of hopping again, I practice. Step close step hop. The right hop isn't too bad, the left hop "sucks." I remember the very day that we learned to skip in kindergarten. I can picture the circle of children. And what an achievement it was. Hopping is involved in skipping. I intend to attend the practice sessions for novices to the Scottish Country Dancing so I must manage to skip and hop around the house.

I watched a fine film of one more portrayal of Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice lately. The dancing in that film was not that different from the SCD. A line dance of sorts with taking of hands and rotating of selves and mingling and scattering and walking down the sides or through the middle and hopping. Lovely. Come join us in our learning if you are close by.